Match profile #2

About me:

I love walks in the jungle, rabid puppies, Emu and Llama wrestling, and offroading on mopeds. I also enjoy running naked through blackberry patches.

A lot of people have told me that I'm "special" or "gifted". I think they're jealous that I can count to 10, or 20 with my shoes off, and even to 22 in the shower. (don't ask)

I like to dance, but the only dances I know are the "Robot" and "Macarena", so I'm always (a) hit on the dance floor....especially at country/western bars. I tried to learn the electric slide, but I slid into a wall and broke my leg.

I was a professional bungee-jumper, but due to my depth perception issues, it didn't last long.


I've got carpel-tunnel in my left big toe, but it doesn't seem to affect my handwriting too much anymore.

My best friend is a Burundian Pygmy. His name is Mbaba-Mwanna-Waresa-Somthing, but I just call him shorty, it's easier. We hang out all the time. Although when he gets mad at me, he punches my in the kneecaps and shoots me with a poison blowdart. We always laugh about that afterwards while I'm recovering in the hospital.

About my date:

I'm looking for somebody that is breathing, and preferably not in any type of relationship, such as marriage, a cult, or prison. A woman that has a steady head on her shoulders, but not a steady shot when she's mad. As beautiful on the inside, as she is in the dark. She has to have a sense of humor, especially if catching me in a lie, drunk, or out with the guys (or all the above). She MUST know how to bathe, and does it regularly....with or without my assistance. She cannot be a blood relative (note to self: always check this first, not last). And must be of legal age...in Washington, NOT Missouri.

For fun:

I like to take pictures of people taking pictures of things. It really annoys them, especially when I use the strobe lights.

Favorite hot spots:

I like going to fancy restaurants, such as Chez McDonalds, B. King Grill, and Arbysaggio Ristorante.

Favorite things:

To relax, I like unscrewing my favorite bottle of wine, and sitting in front of my neon "fireplace" on my Bare skin rug, listening to the rain falling on the cardboard roof.

Last read:

The last thing I read was a sign that said "One way, do not enter". Then I woke up in the hospital....again. I REALLY need to pay more attention to the road signs.

Job: Self-Employed

Aside from Bungee-jumping, I'm also a belly-button Engineer.

Ethnicity: White / Caucasian

I'm heinz 56-1/2, a little bit of everything, including horse...or at least the back part of one.

Faith: Other

I beleive in Bob. Kind of like God, but he's usually hanging around Pike Place market, talking to himself. Mumbling something about the end of the world, canibal midgets, or some odd Newtonian equations concerning magnetohydrodynamics.

Education: High school, PhD / Post Doctoral, School of life

Ph.D. Naval Physics, Umbilicus University.