Match profile #1

About me:

I like camping and hiking in the nude, uphill skiing, and basejumping, as long as it's not more than 3 feet high. I also like puppies, but only if they aren't rabid.

I drive by the Gym at least once a day, and take my cats out for a drag every night. Sometimes, I go strolling alone along the beach and feed the birds....to the sharks. Ocassionally, I'll even kick sand on couples having an afternoon stroll. It's a hoot. Makes me smile. But it would be nice to share those walks with someone though.

A lot of women have told me I look like Brad Pitt....in the dark. Others have said I'm a hunk, but a hunk of what?

About my date:

I'm looking for a woman who appreciates the finer things in life, like sauerkraut, amish quilts, and Aboriginal didjeridu's. A woman that's not afraid to let her hair down.....unless she's wearing a wig.

Someone who like's me for who I am, and not for what I turn into during a full moon. Someone that appreciates my large hands, lazy eye, and big but....I digress.

I'm sure that by now, with everything you've read, that you are eagerly wanting to contact me. BUT WAIT, there's more. Before you jump right in and contact me, you may want to read the rest of my profile to be sure I'm "The One". Last time someone thought I was it, they were pointing at me, and telling the police that I was THE ONE, so please be SURE you are not mistaken, and please don't involve the police again.

PS. No animals are actually injured in my daily life. I love animals.....they taste like chicken....except chicken, which taste like mix between bald eagle and dolphin.

For fun:

I enjoy having epileptic seizures in public places, especially in clubs. I've started two new dance styles so far. I also like to take long falls down steep hills, especially when there are a plethora of blackberry bushes along the way.

Favorite hot spots:

I usually hang out in hospitals, healing, but when I'm not doing that, I go to the Zoo and visit some of my relatives in the primate exhibits. I'd love to take you there, but they tend to throw things at strangers. Not good things either.

Favorite things:

I like to party like it's 1865, 1901, or even 1968, but not 1999. New Years 1999, All I remember is waking up naked on a pool table with a traffic cone on my head and a couple "professional" ladies old enough to be my grandmother.

Last read:

Last thing I read was a warning on a light socket about not putting your finger inside it. Then I blacked out. Apparently tongues shouldn't be inserted into the sockets either.

Job: Self-Employed

I've been a self-employed consultant for the last three years. Been fired 3 times so far since working this job. My boss is a putz, and doesn't put up with mouthy people. It's pretty bad when you have to fire yourself for insubordination.

Ethnicity: White / Caucasian

My parents are Celtic/Norse, but I was born in East L.A.. Lets just say, I wasn't well liked in my neighborhood.

Faith: Other

God plays a vital role in my life. So far, he's used me as a warning to others. Been struck by lightning t-t-t-twice now. Of course I'm sure it has nothing to do with me standing on hilltops with a steel bat cursing at him during a thunderstorm.

Education: High school, PhD / Post Doctoral, School of life

Ph.D. Microbiology and Immunology, Stanford University....I think. I did do a LOT of drinking at college, so my memory is a little fuzzy about what I did back then.